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Subscribe to get the 2 page PDF full of questions to help you and your spouse start to talk about your sex life. I would find it a huge turn on to have her trust me so much, and submit to me so deeply, that she would give me that much power over her body.

And I would use that power to bring her pleasure, I would show her that even when she makes herself that helpless before me that she has nothing to fear from me at all.

She is mine, and I love and cherish her and will not hurt her even when it would be easy to do. She is not comfortable with the idea right now, but she does really like it when she puts her arms above her head when we are in the missionary position and I hold her arms down.

She likes it when you hold her arms above her head? To me, that is a clear sign right there that she is submitting.

This is a very interesting article. Thanks for writing it. I find it interesting that as my wife and I have dealt more with our brokenness and become closer intimate with each other and God our trust and consequently our sex like has become amazing.

We have been married 15 years. I never thought about this being a release from responsibility, but that makes sense.

She owns a business and we have 4 kids. So she has much responsibility. I think the main reason she likes it is because it makes her feel femanine.

I am a tall firmly built fella, and she love to feel that masculinity taking control. It accentuates her femininity. Perhaps I will ask her if she would like to be tied.

That would take the experience to the next level, and she might really dig it. Tried it with some soft rope and Velcro from local hardware store.

Used knots from Twisted Monk free video. Easy to do but takes some time. Better block off a good hour or more. Wife loved it and would like to do again.

I think we might take this gear on a little get away sometime when there is more dedicated time for just play. Thanks for the post.

Gave us another way to fuel our fire. It could just be that you feel a desire to be taken care of and protected, and many people feel that being dominated in some way makes them feel just that: protected and taken care of.

We played with bondage while my wife was pregnant as well. Just small things: blindfold, arms tied outstretched away from her body. But, feel free to play with simple things.

It might help to return some of your missing libido. Wow you have a great wife. I am a guy, but I am the you who likes to be tired up. But my wife does not like to tie me up.

I agree with your wife on its importants to her. But she tie you up once, just to share the trust. Even if she does not want to.

I trust my wife. Thanks for sharing your heart. It went over great, but my wife retained the control she needed while willingly binding herself with her grip.

Thanks for being so honest and willing to talk about this issue. I completely agree with your wife. We have not done this yet but have discussing it and hopefully we will do this activity.

Then you said that you have no done it yet, but you want to. First, great post, and not too much information well thought and well written and bold; I like that.

Being willing to trust submit to your husband with all of your body is a demonstration of ultimate respect for him. I know there is this kind of submission because I tried to walk in this for many years.

The orgasm if at all is as surface and short-lived as the submission. There is a different type of orgasm that comes from true submission of the heart.

The depth of the trust and respect I have for my husband is what determines it. Asking your husband to bind you is that demonstration of complete and utter trust.

I enjoyed your article. We also enjoy bondage as a play thing. This is not something we do all the time but we both enjoy it.

I as the man do like the control and my wife I think likes the loss of control and the helplessness of it. I would like to read other articles from you on this and similar topics.

Paul Byerly shared this, so I had to come over and check it out! Always nice to see another blogger in the community.

Where do you get the cuffs? Stay tuned…. Thank you so much for writing this!! We greatly enjoy bondage and a variety of activities that would make most Christians eyes bulge!

And we feel that pleasuring each other sexually, in what ever ways we find enjoyable and pleasurable, are pleasing to God.

We have a similar story as yours. For 8 years I turned him down constantly! About 18 months ago I made the same promise your wife did: I would never say no again.

His response was a lot like yours. But it completely revolutionized our marriage. As I provided for my husbands sexual needs, God started to increase my desire.

Now my desire is higher than his at times! If we go more than a few days without having sex, I see the negative effects in ALL areas of my life.

I too feel the exact same way as your wife about bondage. It makes me free to enjoy the moment. I have some guilt issues about past sexual choices.

Being restrained takes away my choice in the matter amd leaves me free to just thoroughly enjoy what my husband is doing to my body.

Thank you for your honesty. Amd you are not alone in your situation, actions or feelings. We too are walking this amazing journey.

Yeah, I know what you mean in regards to generally unaccepted activities. My wife once let it slip that we were participating in a 10 days of sex challenge to two of her sisters.

Well, they thought even that was absolutely ridiculous and out of the norm as if sex was some sort of mild torture , I could just imagine their response if they knew the whole playbook.

My libido picked up greatly after the birth of our second and last baby. So I understand where you guys are!!

I would encourage you and your wife to continue to pray. I prayed that God would increase my desire for my husband. I even made it a point to try and fantasize during the day about him doing things to me to get myself worked up!

So sex can be frustrating for me. Hang in there, keep praying and keep honoring and cherishing your wife. As you have seen, God is mighty and can do great, amazing things!

I mean, before we had kids, I knew exactly what to do to effect an orgasm within a minute or two. I think I may have arrogantly believed that I must just be really good.

These days after 4 kids things are completely different. Yes, that is an excellent point. I was definitely going discuss safety in the next post.

A lot of people forget about that. Make sure you have your trauma sheers close by! What a brave post! As our marriage began to grow and I learned to trust my husband more, I decided to give him a gift.

On Christmas morning, he found a couple giant spools of gift wrap ribbon in his stocking. Wow, what a Christmas gift! No, not the ribbon, but the trust given out!

Good for you! It is the game and the trust involved that makes it special. What woman wants to be any of that? A lot of men need to get over themselves.

God created both genders with the parts and ability to fully engage and fully enjoy a mutually satisfying relationship, physically, emotionally and spiritually.

First off, my apologies to you. It is clear, by your response, that I was not as clear as I had hoped. I will attempt to do better in the future or find a term more suitable.

What I was trying to say is that there should be no fear of shame, of regret, of anything negative while in the context of married sexuality.

Now, I agree, there are many men who are only out to please themselves, but there are also many men myself included who adore their wives and seek their pleasure above their own.

Now, if you have a better term for what I meant, please enlighten me, and if it suits, I will use it. If not, I will have to continue reclaiming words, framing them within context, to do my best to convey the ideas I am talking about.

But, I want to thank you for telling me what you are thinking and feeling. I will never learn how to improve this blog if people just storm off in a rage without sharing.

That means a lot to me. He is feeling attacked. How are you talking to him about it? Telling him behaviors that he doing to cause those feelings is much more helpful.

Suggesting an appropriate alternative word gives me direction. Now, granted, you may choose a word someone else is deeply offended by as you can see by the comments, no one has argued in the last year about my choice of terms , so much of it is just personal preference.

In fact, I chose that word because my wife likes to hear it in the heat of passion. We have sort of reclaimed the word, as it were.

I love that word in the heat of passion too!! They use it when referring to a male or female who has sex with a lot of people.

That person does this because they always want sex and are always aroused. I love sex but that desire is strictly in response to and reserved for my husband.

First, let me apologize as I realized after I posted that I still have a lot of anger concerning our marital situation which can sometimes come across as being down on men.

I would love to suggest an alternative word for slut but, alas, I cannot come up with one. I was looking for an antonym but found none.

Having a conversation about which words one might like to hear used in the bedroom could go a long way in being non-offensive. As for me talking with my husband, I know he needs respect because we have had that conversation but, he refuses to tell me what that looks like TO HIM.

Yes, refuses. How can I perform a positive action when I get no help in what it could be, other than watch my tone of voice, which I am working on.

On the other hand, I try to tell him not only how something makes me feel or lack of feeling and but also give examples of what that action, or not doing that action, looks like.

Again, he refuses to act. And this has been going on for decades. Sorry to get off on that. No apologies needed, but I appreciate it. Marriage problems have a tendency to flow into every aspect of life.

I did want to say that forgiveness is not your responsibility. You apologized and asked for forgiveness, that is your job. You did that.

He is only hurting himself by holding into past hurt and not forgiving. Know that God has forgiven you, and live accordingly.

But, you cannot change your spouse, only yourself. See my post about changing your spouse , often, the only thing you can do is model the correct behavior for him and grow closer to God.

Many spouses have changed based on that and prayer. Thanks, Jay Dee. I was just talking with God about the situation the other day and know I have not come to the point of forgiving myself for the times of sexual rejection and hurting my husband because daily I am seeing and living with the results of my behavior.

It has nothing to with enjoying sex. I mean hey, I understand. LKI, my heart breaks for you. God is an amazing God who can do above and beyond what we dream.

Even those things that seem impossible. Obviously your sexual problems in your marriage are just a symptom of some deeper, hurtful issues between you two.

It was SO helpful for us. It is also a great book. It seems like from your comments your husband is not responsive to fixing things.

There is a section in the 4 seasons book that addresses this specifically. Cristi, thank you for your encouragement.

And, yes, I would venture the sexual problems are only a symptom. I have done, read, said all I know, gone to personal counseling more than once, sought healing in a lot of areas.

All of this has been going on for years. Words are cheap. Action is costly. Thanks for your prayers! Author gives case studies for proof.

BUT not mine. I had been reading from the perspective of how HE could be a better husband to help us make a better marriage. When really what I needed to focus on was, how to be a better wife and a better me.

A better wife makes a better marriage. What tipped me off and took me down my memory lane was when you said that your man only read a little of the Love Language book.

And He said:. If you are not, then I have misunderstood and please forgive me. Jay Dee: I would just like to say thanks for the post.

Both my husband and I grew up in a very legalistic church and I think so often in the Christian community anything considered fun must be a sin.

I applaud your freedom in Christ! And I think you and your wife are enjoying each other just as the bible intended. LKI: I would just like to say this in love.

My husband and I have been married for 26 years and in that time every single fight or disagreement can be traced to one single thing.

I do not feel loved and he does not feel respect. I can not think of a single time when this was not the case. I know a bunch of books have been mentioned already and I am going to mention one more.

Emerson Eggerich. It was truly a life changing book for me. And thank you for suggesting resources. I read that book and found it no help at all unfortunately.

He knows I respect him. He knows I will as I always have back him up no matter what decision he makes. I know the underlying problem.

He has self esteem issues that existed long before I met him, and his way of dealing with things is to run and hide, even though it has cost him greatly in his life.

But I go out of my way to constantly reassure him and build him up. He knows I completely respect him.

One of the big things now is he has cost a lot of money and I mean a lot! I decided to ask my wife this question. Her answer was that she thought the trust you gain from those activities extends beyond the bedroom, and trust is a fundamental building block of any relationship, but especially in marriage.

So, for her, this has a direct, positive impact in the rest of our relationship. This is my first time on this site. I am so glad to read this.

I just want to let go when it comes to the bedroom. My mind is spinning all day long and I just want to see an alpha male in my bedroom, something my husband struggles with being.

So glad to read so many other Christians also like this experience. Definitely need to write a post on than.

Please do! Sadly I think churches in the last few decades have caused untold damage by raising young men and women both, to believe that enjoying and desiring sex is wrong, and to be horny and dominating in a healthy way in the bedroom, is also somehow wrong.

It is one thing I work on with my daughter, to let her know that desiring sex and enjoying sex is a GOOD thing, just that it is only for marriage and not before.

Yeah, I will. I think being more alpha male has to happen outside of the bedroom as well, not just there.

I will definitely share more thoughts and the results when I can. What about us girls who want nothing more than to be whipped and slapped and tortured during sex?

My husband and I have only been married for two years, but I cannot find any pleasure in sex unless we have violent rape play. Does that make me a bad person?

A bad person? Of course not! Hi Jay! I found your blog just one day ago and I just wanted to thank you for your time, words and transparency.

I guess God wants us to learn a lot. And I just wanted to thank you for addressing this topic. I think my husband should read your blog!

Greetings from Spain. Wow, married and new Christians. That is a lot of life change in a year! Glad you found the post helpful. Thank you for your reply!

By the way, I became Christian 4 years ago and my husband 2 years ago with my help, we were already friends and one year ago we got married.

Thanks for the clarification. Being a Christian is a life of constant change, we are continually trying to renew our minds, die to self and live in Christ.

Paul Saul went from considering himself basically sinless as a Jewish Rabbi to saying he is the worst sinner of all. As we progress, as we grow our relationship in God, it shines a bit spotlight in our lives onto where we need to change.

Marriage has a way of speeding this process up. Living with someone really shows us and them those areas we need to change if we are humble enough to see it.

So I must say, I very much enjoyed your thoughts. Now how does it work in a christian marriage, if I, the husband, want to be dominated?

It seems unnatural but I am drawn to it. That means that I came to this marriage with six years of experience.

My hubby, well, not so much. I was the one who introduced bondage to my hubby. Last year was his first time to take the reins.

I bumped into this blog consequent to a comment in The Generous Husband. And so I cruised around a while, looking here and there, eventually stumbling across this rather old article.

Ah, so…there it is, yet again. The subtle, unintended giveaway that one usually finds, sooner or later. This is so commonplace as to be considered positively routine.

Not part of Us. Oh no, of course not. No, you must realize, I am one of Them. Those Others. Close your doors, pull the curtains, because Those People are out again.

Oh dearie me. Get over the Us versus Them. I am Christian. I teach rather conservative theology. I write Bible software. You might as well get used to it, and get over it, because Those People are all over the place.

My woman has never had a safeword. She has refused from the beginning to have or use one. How far beyond the SSC map does that move us?

How much should we care? Our answer: Not at all. We have had two sessions like this. The first time we booked a hotel room and she was blindfolded and dressed in stockings and heels.

I went on a swinging website and a well endowed black guy gave her the pounding of her life. A buddy of mine and his wife were into bdsm which I have no problem with at all.

Same idea. Everybody was happy until his wife got the Clap and then her husband got the clap, and one Friend that was there gave the Clap to his wife.

Of course they had to tell the others so they could get checked. It was great fun until the Divorce Attorneys got involved. Wow this is more or less what I have done to my wife because I to had her spread-eagled naked on the bed and yes blindfolded but covered with a sheet but also taunting her that there were four of my mates waiting outside the bedroom but she thought I was joking and sad I wouldn't dare and this is when I called my mates to come in and take the sheet off and help themselves to what is underneath the only thing I had asked them that they don't speak so she wouldn't guess who they were because she knows all of them.

A link that will let you reset your password has been emailed to you. If you do not receive your email shortly, please check your spam folder.

Confess Something. Random Confession. Like us? My wife and I went camping with my My neighbors daughter called the house Im 24 recently moved in with my bf an Give me confusion Flash Give me A couple posts have got me to post my They allow pedophile confessions My wife enjoys her nights out with her One night we all have went to bed.

The other night while my mother in law After Susan had several meetings with Bdsm I've tied up my wife during one of our little play time games.

Cancel Post.

Thanks for sharing your heart. It went over great, but my wife retained the control she needed while willingly binding herself with her grip.

Thanks for being so honest and willing to talk about this issue. I completely agree with your wife. We have not done this yet but have discussing it and hopefully we will do this activity.

Then you said that you have no done it yet, but you want to. First, great post, and not too much information well thought and well written and bold; I like that.

Being willing to trust submit to your husband with all of your body is a demonstration of ultimate respect for him. I know there is this kind of submission because I tried to walk in this for many years.

The orgasm if at all is as surface and short-lived as the submission. There is a different type of orgasm that comes from true submission of the heart.

The depth of the trust and respect I have for my husband is what determines it. Asking your husband to bind you is that demonstration of complete and utter trust.

I enjoyed your article. We also enjoy bondage as a play thing. This is not something we do all the time but we both enjoy it. I as the man do like the control and my wife I think likes the loss of control and the helplessness of it.

I would like to read other articles from you on this and similar topics. Paul Byerly shared this, so I had to come over and check it out! Always nice to see another blogger in the community.

Where do you get the cuffs? Stay tuned…. Thank you so much for writing this!! We greatly enjoy bondage and a variety of activities that would make most Christians eyes bulge!

And we feel that pleasuring each other sexually, in what ever ways we find enjoyable and pleasurable, are pleasing to God.

We have a similar story as yours. For 8 years I turned him down constantly! About 18 months ago I made the same promise your wife did: I would never say no again.

His response was a lot like yours. But it completely revolutionized our marriage. As I provided for my husbands sexual needs, God started to increase my desire.

Now my desire is higher than his at times! If we go more than a few days without having sex, I see the negative effects in ALL areas of my life.

I too feel the exact same way as your wife about bondage. It makes me free to enjoy the moment. I have some guilt issues about past sexual choices.

Being restrained takes away my choice in the matter amd leaves me free to just thoroughly enjoy what my husband is doing to my body.

Thank you for your honesty. Amd you are not alone in your situation, actions or feelings. We too are walking this amazing journey. Yeah, I know what you mean in regards to generally unaccepted activities.

My wife once let it slip that we were participating in a 10 days of sex challenge to two of her sisters.

Well, they thought even that was absolutely ridiculous and out of the norm as if sex was some sort of mild torture , I could just imagine their response if they knew the whole playbook.

My libido picked up greatly after the birth of our second and last baby. So I understand where you guys are!! I would encourage you and your wife to continue to pray.

I prayed that God would increase my desire for my husband. I even made it a point to try and fantasize during the day about him doing things to me to get myself worked up!

So sex can be frustrating for me. Hang in there, keep praying and keep honoring and cherishing your wife.

As you have seen, God is mighty and can do great, amazing things! I mean, before we had kids, I knew exactly what to do to effect an orgasm within a minute or two.

I think I may have arrogantly believed that I must just be really good. These days after 4 kids things are completely different. Yes, that is an excellent point.

I was definitely going discuss safety in the next post. A lot of people forget about that. Make sure you have your trauma sheers close by!

What a brave post! As our marriage began to grow and I learned to trust my husband more, I decided to give him a gift.

On Christmas morning, he found a couple giant spools of gift wrap ribbon in his stocking. Wow, what a Christmas gift! No, not the ribbon, but the trust given out!

Good for you! It is the game and the trust involved that makes it special. What woman wants to be any of that? A lot of men need to get over themselves.

God created both genders with the parts and ability to fully engage and fully enjoy a mutually satisfying relationship, physically, emotionally and spiritually.

First off, my apologies to you. It is clear, by your response, that I was not as clear as I had hoped. I will attempt to do better in the future or find a term more suitable.

What I was trying to say is that there should be no fear of shame, of regret, of anything negative while in the context of married sexuality.

Now, I agree, there are many men who are only out to please themselves, but there are also many men myself included who adore their wives and seek their pleasure above their own.

Now, if you have a better term for what I meant, please enlighten me, and if it suits, I will use it. If not, I will have to continue reclaiming words, framing them within context, to do my best to convey the ideas I am talking about.

But, I want to thank you for telling me what you are thinking and feeling. I will never learn how to improve this blog if people just storm off in a rage without sharing.

That means a lot to me. He is feeling attacked. How are you talking to him about it? Telling him behaviors that he doing to cause those feelings is much more helpful.

Suggesting an appropriate alternative word gives me direction. Now, granted, you may choose a word someone else is deeply offended by as you can see by the comments, no one has argued in the last year about my choice of terms , so much of it is just personal preference.

In fact, I chose that word because my wife likes to hear it in the heat of passion. We have sort of reclaimed the word, as it were.

I love that word in the heat of passion too!! They use it when referring to a male or female who has sex with a lot of people.

That person does this because they always want sex and are always aroused. I love sex but that desire is strictly in response to and reserved for my husband.

First, let me apologize as I realized after I posted that I still have a lot of anger concerning our marital situation which can sometimes come across as being down on men.

I would love to suggest an alternative word for slut but, alas, I cannot come up with one. I was looking for an antonym but found none. Having a conversation about which words one might like to hear used in the bedroom could go a long way in being non-offensive.

As for me talking with my husband, I know he needs respect because we have had that conversation but, he refuses to tell me what that looks like TO HIM.

Yes, refuses. How can I perform a positive action when I get no help in what it could be, other than watch my tone of voice, which I am working on.

On the other hand, I try to tell him not only how something makes me feel or lack of feeling and but also give examples of what that action, or not doing that action, looks like.

Again, he refuses to act. And this has been going on for decades. Sorry to get off on that. No apologies needed, but I appreciate it.

Marriage problems have a tendency to flow into every aspect of life. I did want to say that forgiveness is not your responsibility. You apologized and asked for forgiveness, that is your job.

You did that. He is only hurting himself by holding into past hurt and not forgiving. Know that God has forgiven you, and live accordingly.

But, you cannot change your spouse, only yourself. See my post about changing your spouse , often, the only thing you can do is model the correct behavior for him and grow closer to God.

Many spouses have changed based on that and prayer. Thanks, Jay Dee. I was just talking with God about the situation the other day and know I have not come to the point of forgiving myself for the times of sexual rejection and hurting my husband because daily I am seeing and living with the results of my behavior.

It has nothing to with enjoying sex. I mean hey, I understand. LKI, my heart breaks for you. God is an amazing God who can do above and beyond what we dream.

Even those things that seem impossible. Obviously your sexual problems in your marriage are just a symptom of some deeper, hurtful issues between you two.

It was SO helpful for us. It is also a great book. It seems like from your comments your husband is not responsive to fixing things.

There is a section in the 4 seasons book that addresses this specifically. Cristi, thank you for your encouragement.

And, yes, I would venture the sexual problems are only a symptom. I have done, read, said all I know, gone to personal counseling more than once, sought healing in a lot of areas.

All of this has been going on for years. Words are cheap. Action is costly. Thanks for your prayers! Author gives case studies for proof. BUT not mine.

I had been reading from the perspective of how HE could be a better husband to help us make a better marriage. When really what I needed to focus on was, how to be a better wife and a better me.

A better wife makes a better marriage. What tipped me off and took me down my memory lane was when you said that your man only read a little of the Love Language book.

And He said:. If you are not, then I have misunderstood and please forgive me. Jay Dee: I would just like to say thanks for the post. Both my husband and I grew up in a very legalistic church and I think so often in the Christian community anything considered fun must be a sin.

I applaud your freedom in Christ! And I think you and your wife are enjoying each other just as the bible intended. LKI: I would just like to say this in love.

My husband and I have been married for 26 years and in that time every single fight or disagreement can be traced to one single thing.

I do not feel loved and he does not feel respect. I can not think of a single time when this was not the case. I know a bunch of books have been mentioned already and I am going to mention one more.

Emerson Eggerich. It was truly a life changing book for me. And thank you for suggesting resources. I read that book and found it no help at all unfortunately.

He knows I respect him. He knows I will as I always have back him up no matter what decision he makes. I know the underlying problem. He has self esteem issues that existed long before I met him, and his way of dealing with things is to run and hide, even though it has cost him greatly in his life.

But I go out of my way to constantly reassure him and build him up. He knows I completely respect him.

One of the big things now is he has cost a lot of money and I mean a lot! I decided to ask my wife this question. Her answer was that she thought the trust you gain from those activities extends beyond the bedroom, and trust is a fundamental building block of any relationship, but especially in marriage.

So, for her, this has a direct, positive impact in the rest of our relationship. This is my first time on this site. I am so glad to read this.

I just want to let go when it comes to the bedroom. My mind is spinning all day long and I just want to see an alpha male in my bedroom, something my husband struggles with being.

So glad to read so many other Christians also like this experience. Definitely need to write a post on than.

Please do! Sadly I think churches in the last few decades have caused untold damage by raising young men and women both, to believe that enjoying and desiring sex is wrong, and to be horny and dominating in a healthy way in the bedroom, is also somehow wrong.

It is one thing I work on with my daughter, to let her know that desiring sex and enjoying sex is a GOOD thing, just that it is only for marriage and not before.

Yeah, I will. I think being more alpha male has to happen outside of the bedroom as well, not just there. I will definitely share more thoughts and the results when I can.

What about us girls who want nothing more than to be whipped and slapped and tortured during sex? My husband and I have only been married for two years, but I cannot find any pleasure in sex unless we have violent rape play.

Does that make me a bad person? A bad person? Of course not! Hi Jay! I found your blog just one day ago and I just wanted to thank you for your time, words and transparency.

I guess God wants us to learn a lot. And I just wanted to thank you for addressing this topic. I think my husband should read your blog! Greetings from Spain.

Wow, married and new Christians. That is a lot of life change in a year! Glad you found the post helpful. Thank you for your reply! By the way, I became Christian 4 years ago and my husband 2 years ago with my help, we were already friends and one year ago we got married.

Thanks for the clarification. Being a Christian is a life of constant change, we are continually trying to renew our minds, die to self and live in Christ.

Paul Saul went from considering himself basically sinless as a Jewish Rabbi to saying he is the worst sinner of all. As we progress, as we grow our relationship in God, it shines a bit spotlight in our lives onto where we need to change.

Marriage has a way of speeding this process up. Living with someone really shows us and them those areas we need to change if we are humble enough to see it.

So I must say, I very much enjoyed your thoughts. Now how does it work in a christian marriage, if I, the husband, want to be dominated? It seems unnatural but I am drawn to it.

That means that I came to this marriage with six years of experience. My hubby, well, not so much. I was the one who introduced bondage to my hubby.

Last year was his first time to take the reins. I bumped into this blog consequent to a comment in The Generous Husband.

And so I cruised around a while, looking here and there, eventually stumbling across this rather old article. Ah, so…there it is, yet again.

The subtle, unintended giveaway that one usually finds, sooner or later. This is so commonplace as to be considered positively routine.

Not part of Us. Oh no, of course not. No, you must realize, I am one of Them. Those Others. Close your doors, pull the curtains, because Those People are out again.

Oh dearie me. Get over the Us versus Them. I am Christian. I teach rather conservative theology. I write Bible software. You might as well get used to it, and get over it, because Those People are all over the place.

My woman has never had a safeword. She has refused from the beginning to have or use one. How far beyond the SSC map does that move us?

How much should we care? Our answer: Not at all. Your Kink Is OK. But you must realize that Those People often go farther than that.

Much, much farther. These are not matters worth breaking faith over, and just as importantly, not worth segregating into Us versus Them.

Those People i. Try, if you can, not to see them me; us as Those People. You may be projecting your feelings of being persecuted a bit here, I have no reason or desire to exclude you from Christianity, or attempt to distance myself in any way.

I was trying to be kink-friendly. I hope you understand my position and my heart towards these topics again, no emphasis on THESE, now you have me paranoid.

As a woman, I have always been fascinated by this idea, for the reasons you say. I also like being submissive to my husband in the bedroom.

I feel better knowing there are other Christians out there that feel the same as I do. I just have a question.

He gets turned on if a certain position hurts me. I think that causing pain to a wife is something a husband should never want.

It appears your husband might be somewhat selfish in doing this. I think there is a difference between painful dominant sex and intense dominant sex.

There is a line I believe. Porn comes in all types, but most of it is degrading and violent towards women. It treats women with little respect, and shows a view of control over a woman that is not Christian in nature.

The sex acts in a lot of porn show men that are not only controlling, but uncaring. I think a good analogy would be cooking.

I want her to enjoy it as much as I do. I think you might benefit from having this discussion with your husband. Blessings to you and your husband!

There is often a fine line between pain and pleasure. Sometimes a little pain can enhance pleasure. I think it depends on the ultimate goal.

If his purpose is to degrade or hurt you for his own pleasure…I would err on the side of saying that is troubling. Wow, I am more and more thankful for this site, and glad this is being discussed so openly.

I have been married 22 years, mostly happy and wonderful ones. On the subject of sex, we have experienced seemingly everything together, certainly including this topic non-BDSM , but in almost completely reversed order from most of the testimonies here — and ladies, as a man, I want to thank you all for being so open and honest about this.

I am pleasantly surprised by how many actually like it, or the idea of it. Guys too, actually — thanks. Once I unsuspectingly came home to find her tied up by her own hand.

Part of her concern is she feels sex has become talked and over-emphasized to death, and as Christians we certainly look at THAT alike.

When we started to move away from making love regularly, God told me he would help me deal with my sexual frustration. I told my wife that, and He has, though it has been a long process, and not always an easy one.

But He has kept his promise every step of the way and answers are coming. During the massage the guy told me my husband asked him to prepare me for him.

That really put me in the mood. We have a pretty vanilla relationship so how do I explain to him what I want? I love my husband more than anything and want to submit to him with him taking charge.

I want to call him Sir. I want him to order me to do sexual favors for him. How do I get him to see this is the life I want?

Start by calling him "Sir" all the time I have had a similar relationship with my wife for years. If your husband wants to learn more about it from a man, he can write me tomdavid25 at outlook dot com.

Ask your husband if he will take the lead like you desire. You might give him something to read on the subject if you feel you can't explain it.

I established a clear relationship like that with my future wife before we were even married. I care for, lead and protect her.

She is submissive to me in every way. She obeys me. She gives all I ask for in bed. I correct her for any bad behavior with a lecture and a spanking.

A lot more people live like that than you'd imagine. I know you don't want to sound "weird" but don't be afraid to tell him. Sounds about White. I'm a white guy.

For three years I had a black gf. When we started dating she knew that I had been a Dom of a past sub gf. Soon after we started dating, she begged to be my slave.

After about a month of her begging I thought why not? I took charge. I tied her over the back of a chair and raped her ass. She went full slave calling me "Massa.

That was the just the beginning. She would do stuff that she knew would get me mad just so I would punish her. The next day on a Friday, she did it again.

True to my warning I took her to a hotel room tied her to the bed. She kept saying "Massa are you really gonna have rednecks use me?

They did She loved that kind of stuff. Her job transferred to the west coast otherwise I would still be with her. You could try to take it further, one step at a time.

If you get home before him, be nude when he arrives. If you would like to be tied up and strapped, next time he spanks you try asking if he would like to tie you use his belt.

He will get the message after a while. Puy everything you would like to say to him in a letter. Explaining how you feel, what you would like to happen.

But most of all tell him how much you love him. I hope everything works out for you. Every man in the world wants this.

Print this out and give it to him. If he refuses, find another man. I hope you are right. I feel like this is the way I will be truly happy.

I hope he feels the same. I just want to be on my knees for him. And have him use my body as his sexual toy. I want him to long for this as much as I do and not just do it because he knows I like it.

Hopefully soon my Sir will be in charge. My wife just asked me outright if she could be in total servitude to me, she always enjoyed being submissive but didnt know what i would say if she pushed it further.

We agreed to try it and she calls me master when we are alone, her choice, and we both enjoy the lifestyle. I was a bit uncomfortable at first at not having to give any pleasure to my wife but now i have took on the role as her master which my wife wanted and i now know that i have a slave that is there to do all the work,while i lie back and enjoy it.

Im now starting to push my wifes limits and work her very hard for my pleasure but she still enjoys the lifestyle. This only started 4 years ago when her started asking me to wear more revealing clothing.

He picks out my clothes most days and goes with me to approve outfits. Mostly snug tops, tight dress pants or jeans and short skirts and dresses.

I can wear certain bras to work and only thongs with pants. Only skirts or dresses that are mid thigh or higher.

If I run errands or we have a date, same thing. For vacations he packs everything for me. It gets me so wet whenever he tells me this.

Id love to have a wife like you. Id set up dates for you. Id love to eat you after. My husband does not let me have clothing priveleges as part of our marriage.

I must be given his permission to even put on clothing of any kind. I was in total despair when I found Dr.

My life was going terrible and I didn't know if I was coming or going. I had just gone through a rough divorce, wasn't making enough money to sustain me and my children, and my 17 year old son had just gone to jail for the first time.

When I talked to him, I immediately found a sense of peace. He was very honest with me and I could feel that. He also told me that everything would be okay.

After my work began, things began to change. My bills were all caught up, the relationship I was in became much stronger, I was never FLAT broke, and my son was released from jail earlier than we expected!!

I also completely got over the failed marriage and began to move on. I felt completely comfortable with the work that was being done because I was always encouraged by Dr.

That's a very hot confession I can relate to. He has not explicitly told me about it but doesn't need to because it's perfectly implied by his actions.

He started by suggesting me to wear clinging dresses when we had people over, no bra, low cut blouses, open skirts and the like.

He would comment later on they some people noticed how good I looked. Then he advised me to sexier to work, nothing vulgar that wouldn't be professional but just sexier like above the knee skirts or sheer blouses that let my bra see thru.

He also asked me to wear thongs to work, not in my feet but under my skirt. One day he played a movie featuring a married woman bent by her boss over his desk.

Her boss pulled up her skirt and they had a quickie with her thongs on. My husband also advises me to carefully remove all undesirable body hair before visiting my doctor and actually picked a matching lace panties and bra for my visit.

Or have a pice of that ass, she would tell me if someone hit on her when she was out with her friends. One night I said to her if someone is trying to get you to go with them, and if you like them you can go with my full permission.

This went on for a while, without her doing anything. There was a film on Netflix we don't have it that she wanted to see, so she told our friend and he agreed.

When she came home after spending the night with him, she said that she had a fantastic time with him. She smiled and said thank you. That's disgusting.

If he was a real man, he wouldn't share you! Especially if he's as dominant as you make him out to be.

Where is your sense of morals? He's literately treating you like trash, and an mindless robot, to do as he pleases. Your husband is an abusive pig.

I am a Feminist. I just sent you Love and Positive Energy Since when feminist ever approved of this of fellow women?

So much for love and positive energy Right there with you. Actually most women love to be dominated. No offense but if you tired some of this stuff you wouldn't turn back.

We always get hotel rooms with two queen beds, one for them and one for me to sleep in. There is nothing hotter than being woke up in the morning by your wife grunting while she's riding her new boyfriend.

I have fantasies like that. My husband cheated on me for Almost for three years. Great help from Dr Mack, he is genuine.

I truly believe in him and his work. He was rather jealous instead. Yesterday for example he told me I should better go braless than with a black bra and white sheer top.

When we go shopping he likes the tops that show more cleavage and the dresses that show more legs. My ex-wife used to wear nothing but panties and see-through shirts all the tim.

And one night it was four guys plus me. I'm only 10 and a half, but I've seen her take up to 14 inches and she was a little tiny thing. So clothes were not ever an option, even when the kids lived it home we had four girls two were hers, an two were mine.

It made for an interesting home life. But she broke the cardinal rule of the adult swinging situation that's why I am divorced.

On a plus side since my ex wife ran off with a friend, and her two girls stayed with ole' Dad. So at least I know where the Loyalty was.

Really like a woman breast.. My husband knows it and we love to talk about it. It turns us on.

He says that my boss, with whom I spend a lot of time together not only in the office but also on the road on business trips, is the men he fantasizes the most about.

Hello every one My name is Tuner, I never believed in a spell casting but After 6 years of dating my ex lover, we broke up for more than two months and it was like ten years, i was introduce to Dr.

Ahmed through the internet and I contacted him and he brought my ex lover back to me in just 24 hour. No one could have ever made me believe that there is a real spell caster that really work.

I want to tell the world that there is a real and online spell caster that is powerful and genuine, His name is Dr Ahmed, He helped me recently to reunite my relationship with my ex lover who has already left me for another woman, When i contacted Dr Biya with email drbiyaspelltemple gmail.

Do you need a divorce? Do you want your ex lover back? Do you want to get pregnant? Do you want your husband to appreciate you? Do you want to be famous or rich?

Do you want to be a celebrity? Do you your business to grow excessively? Do you want to be honorably good academically?

Do you need a job? Do you need a husband? Do you have problem in your marriage life? He can cast a spell to cure HIV.

You would think the doctor biya would prevent this pestilence and prevent the stock and commodity markets from crashing to prevent unemployment, sickness and lockdowns.

I think the doctor is quack selling snake oil to a bunch of suckers This is my testimony about the good work of a man who helped me My name is maria cooker After 8 years of marriage, my husband left me and left me with our three kids.

I felt like my life was about to end. Thanks to a spell caster called papa Otoijiaghae who i met online.

I came across series of testimonies about this particular spell caster. Some people testified that he brought their Ex lover back, some testified that he restores womb, some testified that he can cast a spell to stop divorce and so on.

I decided to give papa a try. I contacted him via email and explained my problem to him. In just 3 days, my husband came back to me.

We solved our issues, and we are even happier than before. If you have a problem and you are looking for a real and genuine spell caster to solve that problem for you.

Try the great papa Otoijiaghae today, Here's his contact: thespiritualhealer24 gmail. Contact him for the following: 1 If you want your ex back.

Oh please with this garbage! But maybe she desires to be a slave to her husband. I would do anything he asks or orders me to do. I know he will keep me safe and he has my best interest at heart.

I know I sure do. Uhm, wrong. A wife's mind, body, and soul are the property of her husband. A woman can't be forced to get married, but when she willingly enters a marriage, she agrees to be owned and surrenders to him.

She must follow his every command without question. If your husband says spread your legs, you spread your legs.

It's entirely up to him, not you. Remember, like all of you, your mouth and face are his property now. You have absolutely no say so in the matter.

What planet did you come from? I think the woman should own you. As his property, he can of course make the decision to share you from time to time.

Trust me; offer a good man this luxury and you will experience levels of intense love and protection at heights you never knew could even exist.

All you have to do is submit to mother nature and accept that woman is the property of man. If this wasn't true men would not be physically stronger and have deeper voices.

Natural selection itself demonstrated that female submission was the best evolutionary route for humans. It's hard science.

Men are stronger so they can build homes and do hard labor. Men look good all sweaty and working. You have a deep voice so you can scare intruders.

Women like to watch you do this. Just select your husband carefully. You retain the right to expect to be loved, never hurt, protected, and provided for.

Any good man will greatly treasure his dominance and absolute control of you and will reward it with unbreakable loyalty, protection, and support.

Don't pay mind to other women or brainwashed men who would say this belittles you. They can think whatever they want, but any normal man deep down will see you as leagues above the rest, a unicorn, a rare gem, a goddess of a woman.

Most men would prefer this level of control over a woman as a better prize than winning the lottery. You have the power to make the man of your choosing happier than a lottery winner.

If he's a good man, all you will ever have to do is submit to his will and accept that you are property for him to use as he pleases, and he will take care of the rest of your life.

Most women today are too stupid to understand what men really want. They resist traditional gender roles and then the women wonder why their marriage lacks passion and the man seems unmotivated to earn more money to provide the household with nice things.

A man with an obedient, well-behaved sub wife will practically work himself to death to provide a good income, nice home and luxury things for his wife.

He will practically run thru a brick wall for such a wife. That's the truth. Make him the happiest man on the planet by dropping to those knees, looking up at him, and saying, "Sir, you can do anything you want to me.

I submit to you. I am your property. Please control me, sir. I have no say so. You control me.

Yeah right Anybody i New york thats into this get back to me jim jimgreen at g mail. Honestly I need a husband like him. One that isn't afraid of a little fun and isn't too possessive of me.

I would gladly marry you if you were like her. Ok this is insane women that want to be loved wanted owned and worship a man that owns them while some are lucky to find a reasonable other but why cant two be totally open upfront and real.

Sounds sexy : are you any good in bed? To the lady that needs not wants wishes but needs a husband like him and for her reasons then she should write me as I need a lady that is like her and would expect to earn her trust and love the bond then would be what I need.

Not that great. My husband is not domineering, but he likes it when I dress sexy around his friends. For one thing, his friends are married and it would be wrong.

The farthest I've gone was to serve two of them lunch when I was wearing just a tight t-shirt no bra and lace panties.

They damn near were drooling, and it wasn't because of the food. I was wet too, and it wasn't from my mouth.

My husband does not let me wear clothes in the house. My wife is always naked for my friends, family, neighbors and even delivery and repair men.

She loves teasing them by sitting on their laps. Has even given a few hjs. What a turn on for me as I encourage and watch her-.

Where do you find husbands like this. I want to be a sub and I'd let my husband fully own me. My husband and I are very sexually active, and he can do to me whatever he wants, about 3 year ago my husband started to have me dress slutty, like, supertight skirts with no panties, tight tops low cut, supertight spandex, PVC, and latex pants with no panties so can show a cameltoe, knee high boots, heels etc..

I have ever seen I mean, it was huge! I was so wet thinking of him doing that to me, I could not resist anymore so said yes, so he bent me over the counter and stuffed that monster in my a..

I actually felt the warm sensation when he was coming, I came out of the bathroom and my husband said wow that was a really long BJ.

My wife lets her boss do anything he wants to do. All I get is what her boss tells me I can have.

My wife works for my uncle and has often given him hjs and bjs while I watched What a turn on. I often go to the bar just to watch her tease the guys as she lets them grope her naked body.

I have even seen her give my uncle hjs and bjs while customers watched. Which kind of humans U R!!!??.. He loves to degrade her because he hates her.

Girls and women who like to drink, especially those who get tipsy or drunk, make me super-hard. So contact me if you like what I said!

My wife has slowly become so submissive to the point where ive stopped thinking about her pleasure in any way and the more she serves the happier she is i lie back and enjoy.

Everything i do to degrade her and make her more my slave she enjoys. No one is getting that pleasure just me. You are taking the control too far!

She is a human not an animal. Im not making her do it she wants to do it and be in service to me. It makes her happy to serve me and she asked me if she could be in total servitude to me and that i used her in any way.

That is what she wants it wasnt forced. Her skills and body are amazing and every mans fantasy to be able to have what he wants and how many times he wants it.

Its the lifestyle she wants, i dont tell her what to do she just does it herself to please me. She wanted and asked for this lifestyle and i give her it.

My wife loves being in service to me, shes not being forced to do it, she wants to do it and we both love each other and have been married 15 year.

Follow up My wifes servitude has now reached new levels. She now insists on cleaning my arsehole daily and says its her favourite duty.

She passes the test, i need suggestions to how i test her even more. You sound jealous. If you werent interested how did you get to this site.

You sound like you would enjoy being my slave. If you think im bullshitting drop your email and find out i dare you, im looking for another slave to serve me and you you sound like you would love a good whipping.

I'm Getting off to these comments. What have you been doing in the last four months? Do you still want to be a slave?

Devinsmith gmail. Lovely story. My wife absolutely loves to be tied and used by me. We pretend that other men are touching her and it gets her to wet.

When I bring up actually doing it, she says she is not sure she could Your a good husband. I want a husband like you that isn't afraid to share me, and gets satisfaction out of it.

If you do and you want to serve him and worship him and have a truly incredible relationship where if your honest real and loyale then anything will be talked over and most will be agreed too and wanted if your willing to be a loyale real caring true slave you will be owned and loved by the best smokinpan aol.

You are lucky! I had a boyfriend once who treated me like this. He wouldn't marry me though, and I was scared to be alone.

So I married the first guy who came along and proposed to me. See above why shouldn't two have one that they want and get what they agree too I want a total devoted sub and will expect no limits but wont alow her to have anything nor do to her what I know shwe will but wouldn't want and will devote the rest of my life as she will to me and we will do all we want our way.

Leave him, you need to be treated right and sexually dominated and shared around. You are lucky to have a husband who cares for you.

Next time you should invite your best friend for him to play with j. I certainly hope you enjoyed it if I were your husband I would have enjoyed watching you you sound like a fox.

Emil me we need to talk about this arrangement he has with you president2k5 icloud. Enjoy your fun with hubby. I am also very submissive to my husband.

I can only wear clothing when I get his OK. When we go out he tell we what I can or can't ware. Like a short dress with no under ware. He keeps all my clothing lock up.

When he has his friends over for his Saturday night card game. I must be naked. I am the naked bartender. Out of a day year.

I only wear clothing about 15 to 20 days a year. We live out in the country. I do house work and yard work in the nude.

And I like it. My wife and I also live in the country. I don't allow her to ever wear clothes at the farm or to church. I believe its only right for a wife to remain nude for her husband.

So contact me! I am also a nudist at home, so does my husband. They also stay naked. I love to wear short dresses with no panties on.

The more see- through the better. I also live in the country and like go nude on the deck. Sometimes I just rub myself on the deck.

It makes me so hot to think of my husband forcing me to serve his friends nude. Or a gang bang. Not his cup of tea. My wife is always nude for all my friends, family, neighbors, etc.

Mine also I also believe my wife can only be allowed to be naked. I, myself have become rather submissive to my husband. I just love how he's turned me into a little house wife.

We have no children, so when he comes home I have dinner ready for him. He makes me feel so inferior but I love it.

That's the way women should be. After that I have to suck him all night while he sleeps. I live for his pleasure. Why you commenting on everyones stories saying its bullshit, its because your jealous and want to be someones slave.

Im looking for a second slave if you think its bullshit drop your email and il break you to serve my every need. I would love to chat with you sometimes.

I write books about women like you. I av a riffle a short gun and a 45 elliite remington hangun for sale if you are interested contact sammydavidson gmail.

Oh you silly people. That's not right" It's not right for you, obviously, but your experience is not every woman's experience.

You shouldn't judge what you don't understand. I have been with my wife for 15 years. She is the love of my life. She has earned her MBA, is an executive director in her company and makes a very solid six figure income of her own and serves on the boards of multiple charity organizations.

She is a killer at work. Sharp as a razor. She gets everything she wants, always, and she enjoys that fact. But when she gets home and the suit comes off she wants nothing more than to feel owned.

She doesn't want to give orders, she wants to be commanded. She doesn't want to run her life and daily activities, she wants to have expectations she must follow.

She wants to be guided, and punished when she falls short of her goals. She serves me however she is instructed, and with whomever. She does anything she it told and that's how she wants it.

If I was not the man who was strong enough to own her she would not be with me. I have no idea what some of you picture when you think of this way of living, but to my wife, and others like her, it is bliss.

She is loved beyond words, cared for, admired, supported, promoted and absolutely owned. I force nothing on her.

I give her what she needs, a master. When reading this this is me all over. I really do love doing what he tells me to do.

I do to him and for him what ever he wants me to do. He dresses me in the most sexy outfits and heels. I do love sucking him as much as he will let me.

Avoid Immoral Women 1My son, pay attention to my wisdom; listen carefully to my wise counsel. Never stray from what I am about to say: 8Stay away from her!

If only I had not ignored all the warnings! Never share it with strangers. Rejoice in the wife of your youth. May you always be captivated by her love.

A husband hired me to massage his wife and to give her a happy ending. One Halloween, i took her to a party dressed as a slave girl.

I told her husband where it was and he came in a costume with full mask. He watched me whip her, nude in front of everyone and then both men and women used her for their pleasure.

His wife came over and over, especially while being triple penetrated. In the end I was put on a yearly retainer.

Her fantasy was to be sold to a group of wealthy men, which we did many times and another taken to a black working man's bar where she had over 40 men in a single night.

I would love to go to a party and be triple penetrated by multitudes. Trust me they would love what they see. My wife and I led a lifestyle of swinging and wife swapping.

My favorite was FFM 3somes. Then we noticed that all of the couples in our clubs were getting divorce or had a lot of drama due to one or the other forming emotional bonds with a partner.

It is sometimes called the cuddle hormone as it is the one that makes the couple want to cuddle and feel good with each other. My wife and I saw our best friends' marriage destroyed because he fell in love with a woman at their club and his wife fell in love with her boss at work.

The problem to them is the lessor one of not telling their spouse about it. Out of 8 couples in our small club, 6 got divorced within two years and the rest of us went our merry way.

Most of the post are not real anyway so do not get upset when you read them. Some do it for real but they are as rare as hen's teeth.

I lived with two women for 38 years and yet if I read someone else say something similar I do not believe them. How weird is that considering we knew a lot of kinky people.

I was offered the wife of two friends, which I turned down as it was awkward for me. No more friend. Do any of these disgusting men have children?

Oh shove it up your ass! Not one of them mentioned kids, just you! What kind of sick fantasies are YOU thinking of??

In fact it would probable be beneficial as it would remove the stigma from it. Who mentioned children??!!?? Im Christine My ex husbands wouldn't have anything to do with this My LT BF now makes me show, strip, where nipple cut out bras to work, post my self on internet Lucky girl you are.

Go ahead and take em both on and invite the other for a one on one from time to time and have him bring a friend if you're up to it.

If it was me I'd be going all the way with both of them and then invite the other for a one on one from time to time and take him without hesitation.

My name is Jodie. My husband is also sexually domineering. I knew what he was like when I married him and I was quite happy with him dominating me.

Whenever he wants. Ever since we married he ordered me to wear sexy underwear. Especially stockings. He likes to think of me wearing them even when I'm at work.

I don't think he ever will. Which is my favourite. I'm having a great time. Dammit girl. After that have fun. As long as everyone gets what they need it's all good, right?

The bigger the better and I take on all races, including black. Really, you should do it. So, you are now Do you still enjoy being watched.

I would love to watch. This is a fantasy. Would you send me your pic and tell me city where you live. I want to know if I am close. I invite all to contact me.

By far the best thing I have ever read and would love to watch or join especially at your parents or brothers house. Ooh I should've married him..

I had same story I luuv being watched too! Eww yo that's gross but hey why dont u get ur bro if ya catch my drift. Wtf Is wrong with you?

Don't make him control you, but you are. She said it was fun and turned her on big time. Your not his toy!

He isn't taking you seriously, remember have some respect for yourself too! I say this as a male. That's great! And amazing. Ignore the closed minded prudes who say don't do it.

As long as your love between you and your husband is strong And he trusts you to be a good and loving wife enough to share you with his best friend then that's fantastic!

There is absolutely nothing wrong with being slutty now and then, I love it when my husband invites his childhood friend over, they are brothers not by blood but a great bond.

I won't lie, I enjoy it so much the thought makes me wet. Unfortunately his brother lives about miles north from us so we only get to have fun 2 times a year when he gets his week long vacations.

You are a very lucky woman. Your husband sounds wonderful, don't ever forget that your body is his to do with as he sees fit.

Pleasing your husband is your only purpose. Wishing my husband was just like yours.

My Wife Bound Video

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